I'm starting to really love the girl I lock eyes with every time I look into a mirror. She sings along to Kate Bush and Fugazi in the car. She can't whistle or snap but makes up for it by having a killer secret guacamole recipe. She's seen every episode of Six Feet Under at least twice and is endlessly bummed out that nobody seems to be as into it as she is. She's shy and extremely anxious but generally interested in one-on-one conversation. She doesn't like the taste of alcohol and is tired of pretending. She wears what she wants. She is getting stronger every day.
Once I stopped trying to fit myself into arbitrary molds and expectations, my life got a whole lot more enjoyable. I noticed that I was starting to become a ball of stress, which is behavior that leads to self destruction. I'd like to think of this time in my life as my Renaissance period. I'm not reinventing myself or my style, I'm just truly discovering who I am. Not figuring out who I dress like who who I talk like. Not the music I listen to or the books I read. I'm getting down to the core and everything else is falling into place.