"To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it." - Charlie Chaplin
Few journeys are as frightening as the one I face on my way to the studio. In those harrowing five blocks, I navigate uneven cobblestone in stiletto heels, strategically furrow my bold brow to ward off concupiscent construction workers, and avoid eye contact with eager college students armed with clipboards and the latest guilt-inducing half-facts for the "trendy grassroots cause of the week," as I like to call it. Even after I swipe my card and struggle to open those heavy glass doors, my day is full of treading lightly as I carry my cup of coffee up the stairs as not to spill it on myself, subtly checking my lipstick in the iPhone's front-facing camera to make sure that none of it somehow ended up on my teeth (how does that even happen?) or too much didn't smudge off so it's all lip liner, (like in my last outfit post... oops.) and other various ways of not making a general fool of myself. Pause and think about that for a moment. Life is hard. Now, this is not the time to get self-righteous and lambast me in the comments with things like "*eyeroll* E.M., I didn't come here to read about your FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS." Hear me out. How much of our time do we spend on self-preservation? How much of that could be spent doing actual, you know, productive things? Quite a bit. What kind of vitriol do we think is in store for us if we fall down the office stairs while carrying a stack of paper? Will we lose our jobs? Unlikely. Will others lose respect for us? Even more unlikely. Why? We're all human. We're all flawed. We do some REALLY stupid things and if we can't just laugh at ourselves then what are we even doing, dammit?
I wish self-help books were a little less "be the best that you can be, NOW, OR ELSE!" and more "just learn to laugh at yourself, homegirl." Laughter is the most powerful anti-anxiety medicine for me. It's important to recognize and be mindful of the difference between tasteful bits of self-depricating humor and downright self-disrespect but when you find where your boundaries are, the little things tend to add up and slowly drive us to depression are deemed utterly powerless. Go back and read that. When inevitably embarrass yourself, you can take the sword out of your own hand by cracking a smile instead of wanting to hide away forever. You gain that much more control over your life and the things that bother you. This is incredibly important. It's like being kind to bullies to let them know that they don't bother you but in this case, the weaker part of you is the bully and you have to prove to yourself that your stronger part is in control. If you can take control of these little moments, you're well on your way to owning even your largest flaws. To quote Tyrion Lanniester, "Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." That's some serious self-confidence right there. It's not easy to go right from zero to Tyrion Lannister but not taking yourself so seriously all the time is sure a fantastic start.
Thing is, white girls all know that they (we?) dress exactly the same. If you ask anyone why, her answer will undoubtedly be a whiny variant of something along the lines of "but it's comfyyyyy!" Actually, we had a white girl summit and discussed what our uniform would be and this is what we decided on because it's flattering and easily attainable. Not really. I have no idea why we dress this way. We just do. I hold to the universal truth that yoga pants and a fleece are okay for bopping around the grocery store but we should all put more thought and care into what we wear pretty much anywhere else. Break the mold, why don't ya? Trade your leggings for black jeggings, your fleece for a nice sweater layered over a long chambray button-down, your UGGly boots for some leg-lengthening pointed flats, and add a few gold details. Still warm and comfy but in a much sleeker, sexier package. If you REALLY wanna do it right, trade that pumpkin spice coffee for a good ale. (If you must have pumpkin, Southern Tier PUMKING is pretty great.)
Not really something that would warrant an outfit post per se, but it's sweater weather so BOO YA. In stark contrast to my previous post, my week took a turn for the worse. I had one of those days when everybody seemed to have something mean to say to me or about me, etc. Why can't we just all be nice to each other? (Myself included.) I try my best to brush it off but some things tend to hit harder than others and when it happens, it's always everything at once. Needless to say, it felt good to pull on a cozy cardigan, grab a Miller High Life (or two... or more...) with my best friend Allie, and to catch Sucré play a great set. After a night of laughing and singing along, everything else seemed so trivial. It's such a great thing to have a friend who you'll click with and pick up again effortlessly after not seeing each other for a little while. The last time we saw each other, things were immensely different. She was finishing up school, I was searching for a job. Now, I'm settled into a career path and a new place, she graduated and got engaged, yet despite all of the changes, we hit it off like it was only just yesterday that were were ducking into Barnes and Noble to try to escape a polar vortex. Yes, that really happened. It was nine months ago. A lot can change in a relatively short time. Changing seasons brings this sort of sentimentality out of me; I'd apologize but it's been a while since I've been open with you guys here and I kind of missed it.
*photos by Allie Mickel
My window is open, I wore black tights to work, all is well with the world. Summer makes me kind of depressed. There's something about being sweaty and smelly all the time that's just very off-putting. I love random beach days and the sun is nice but when the breeze picks up and the leaves start changing, all of the outside world becomes my sanctuary. The week before my birthday has historically been a high point for me. Fall starts rolling in, Starbucks starts carrying the Salted Carmel Mocha again, and my birthday present to myself somehow shows up on my doorstep a couple days early. (Every year!) I had a half day today so I loafed around the house, browsed through a few fall clothing catalogs, and made some quinoa-black bean concoction. Candles were lit, Bon Iver was listened to, and a little boozy something-or-other may have been sipped. The Eagles are playing tonight... man, it's a good day. I'm starting to feel those creative juices flowing again and I couldn't be happier. As my man Ice Cube would say, "today was a good day."
Sometimes change is necessary. The seasons are shifting, I'm turning 23 in a week or so, and my creative juices are flowing. Instead of my usual "I'm going to take a trip somewhere," I decided to redecorate. Redecorating is something that always feels really great. It's a wonderful way to start over; even seeing a new paint color cover the old is somewhat cathartic. Who couldn't use a little catharsis every once in a while? (Oh, and thanks for photobombing me, Juno.)
Before: I actually don't mind the "before" at all. It's cozy. I wanted a change though, which is why I kissed that soft seafoam green "goodbye" and traded that green chevron stripe rug for a similar but more geometric one.
I like it. It's classy but still very "me" -- a hodgepodge of sorts but everything is still somehow cohesive. Staining my bed was the best decision I've ever made. It came out unexpectedly well and I now believe in the power of the stain. Seriously, if you want to make a big impact on a budget, stain a piece of furniture. WOWZA.
I've gone missing for a little while. But I'm back. (Don't even ask about last week. Don't do it.) After getting my first real sleep in 9 days, I awoke to a pleasantly chilly day. When you wake up and there's a nice breeze in the air, what do you do other than drape yourself in all black and parade around town in some booties? I put on my best impression of Fairuza Balk and enjoyed the overcast splendor.
dress/ Gypsy Warrior (similar), boots/ Piperlime (similar), hat/ Urban Outfitters, necklace/ from when I was a kid but I found (almost!) the exact same one at ASOS, ring/ H&M (similar), lipstick/ Cyber by MAC
*photos by Danielle Conyers
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