“Let me give you some advice, bastard: Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.” - Tyrion Lannister
I've been thinking a lot about my flaws lately. I'm starting to pack on some extra pounds for winter and it's not great. I cut off my hair because it was a sort of security blanket to compensate for all of the self-consciousness about my weight. I wore it like a shroud. Now that it's gone, I'm left to face my various insecurities all by myself. I feel like working in TV has taken away every ounce of self-love I once possessed. I'm surrounded by these unrealistically attractive people all the time. I mean, come on guys, spread out the good looks for the rest of us average-looking folk. I set equally unrealistic standards for myself and I realized that it's no way to live. As you all know, I'm a big fan of cognitive-behavioral therapy. Basically that means that you re-train your brain to replace negativity with positivity. I make lists. Lots and lots of lists. Do me a favor: look at yourself in the mirror. Analyze what you see. What do you like? What don't you like? Now own those flaws. Here's what I came up with:
1. I wear the bags under my eyes like badges of honor. Sometimes I stay awake for 30+ hours in a row because of the way work, weddings, meetings, and other things may align. At the beginning of it all, I could barely stay awake during an overnight shift. Now, I'm a champion. Is it healthy? Probably not but it's also not for forever. I'm paying my dues and I'm that much closer to my dream job.
2. I have sausage fingers. While I can't do anything about the way they look, I'm thankful for my ability to use them for things like music. Though that particular hobby may keep me from having sexy nails, it's well worth it.*
3. I can be really unbelievably stubborn. As I get older, I'm learning (the hard way) how to channel that into something constructive, I.E. being a strong-willed, albeit open-minded person. I don't think that's a bad trait at all, especially in a world where everybody seems to be swayed so easily.
*SPEAKING OF WHICH... shameless plug: if you live in the Philly/South Jersey/Philly 'burbs area, I want to sing to your beautiful faces! My band is playing at show at The Legendary Dobb's on Sunday. Show up around 4:30 with a canned good because it's for Philabundance. I would LOVE, LOVE, LOVE you see you there. If you're a reader and you're planning on showing up, let me know (either in the comments below or on Twitter) so I can bring some extra special swag for you.