This happens at least twice a year. It's an all-too-familiar sensation. You've struggled enough to get your jeggings over your curvaceously thick thighs but there's a greater obstacle to overcome before you can suck it in, button, zip, and relax. The booty. You wiggle your way in and it's almost there when-- RIP. Both as an onomatopoeia as well as in a "R.I.P. pants" kinda way. Yes, my larger-than-life derriere did irreparable damage to yet another pair of trousers. It was only a matter of time. The pants were busting at the seams. At least it happened in the comfort of my own home and not in the middle of the office, or on the street. Regardless of where it happens, it's always somewhat humiliating. I stared at the remaining shards of pant. "My ass did that?" I think to myself. It looks like they were mauled by a cougar. I sit down, defeated. Why, though? Is a buxom bottom not some sort of medal of honor? It's some sort of desirable trait, no? It most surely is. A fat booty is celebrated in many ways, particularly by song. So, if you bust through a pair of pants any time soon, don't get bummed about your bum: listen to these (NSFW!) songs, shake what your momma gave you, and realize that there are women who endure the pain of implants just to have what you've got.